


The Death Message

by benchofindigo



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Changing POV, Hopeful Ending, M/M, They Both Die at the End AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:42:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benchofindigo/pseuds/benchofindigo
Summary: Would you want to know when you died? You can't change your fate; you can't stop yourself from dying. So would you want to know? What would be the point?





	The Death Message

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished reading "They Both Die at the End" By Adam Silvera and this idea popped into my head. Not original or all that interesting really but I figured I might as well put it up since I wrote it.

It’s something Starfleet has been able to do for awhile now – knowing when you'll die. It’s called the death message and each day it sends out a list of people who are going to die within the next 24 hours. They of course don’t let just anyone know that information. It would cause wide spread panic, get people to act differently when doing their jobs, cause just a whole bunch of different messes.

No. That wouldn’t do.

They only inform the Captains and CMOs of ships if they believe the information is useful – say if a high ranked member dies and they need to start looking for a replacement or a whole bunch of people from the same ship die on the same day or the CMO has to choose between attempting to save the life of two people.

As such most people don’t know that Starfleet has this capability and that’s perfectly fine with them. Besides, it’s already been tested numerous times to see if knowing can prevent the deaths. It never does. It’s always inevitable.

You cannot escape death.

Philippa Georgiou knows about the death message. She has received a handful of messages over the years as a captain – when there was an explosion in engineering killing her chief engineer and six others, the time when the she had sent twenty people on an away mission on a previously unexplored planet and only three survived, the time…

Well, needless to say she’s received the message and each time it was correct, and she could do nothing about it. There have also been deaths on her ship that hadn’t been reported. People who died from injuries or accidents or other horrible mishaps bound to happen when exploring space, but they weren’t special enough to warrant a message.

She sometimes wonders why Starfleet even bothers at all. It’s not pleasant, knowing when someone is going to die and still having to send them off to do their duty. A heavy burden that isn’t needed. She knows some Captains that tell the people that they are going to die. She isn’t one of those.

Sometimes it’s better to not know.

On Stardate 1207.3 Philippa Georgiou wakes up to find a message from Starfleet’s death message. She takes a second to compose herself before opening it, selfishly hoping that it isn’t Michael.

It isn’t.

It’s her.

Followed by a long list. 8162 names in total.

They aren’t all from her ship of course, but a lot of them are and the fact that she’s getting names from other people’s ships is quite concerning.

Her door beeps startling her.

She quickly swipes the message away and makes sure her uniform is as it should be before opening the door. It’s her CMO.

Dr. Nambue is clutching his pad in his hands, his eyes wide and fearful. Philippa quickly ushers him in the room and closes the door behind him.

“So you’ve seen the list,” Dr. Nambue says.

Philippa nods. “Have you told anyone?”

Dr. Nambue shakes his head.

“Good, keep it that way.”

“But –”

“We can’t stop this. No good will come out of spreading panic.”

Dr. Nambue looks like he doesn’t agree, but it’s an order so he nods his head.

“Dismissed.”

Dr. Nambue leaves and Philippa checks the list. Dr. Nambue is not on it. Neither is Michael Burnham or Saru. At least they survive. She feels a pain at leaving the both of them behind, both still so young and have so much left to learn, but there is nothing she can do. The most she can do is go out and be a good captain till the very end.

…

Lorca enjoys receiving death messages. He gets so many now that they are in a war. Starfleet has now opened it up so you get the deaths from all fleets so that other captains know if another ship might be in need. So practically every day there is a new message and Lorca enjoys seeing how the people listed die.

Especially those that annoy him.

This Universe could use more death in his opinion. Even with the war there was too much good in it. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He knew Straal, Stamets’ research partner, and everyone else on the USS Glenn were going to die. He gleefully awaited for the events to unfold and to stick it in Stamets' face by making him board the vessel where his friend died. The man deserves to be taken down a few knots, especially with how slow he is working on the spore drive. He blames Hugh Culber for that and forever regrets agreeing to his transfer. He hadn’t known they were a couple before hand, how could he? For who on earth would be interested in dating Paul Stamets?

Then the message comes that his chief of security will die, which is unfortunate. Landry, like his own Landry is loyal to him and damn good at her job. Unfortunate, but that is life.

He keeps a careful eye out to make sure Michael Burnham is never on the list. He doesn’t know what he would do if she was. He doesn’t fear finding his own name. Dying now is not in his destiny. But Michael? He’s lost her once before. He won’t lose her again.

He gets the message that Hugh Culber is going to die. Surprising since he expected to see Paul Stamets name on this list not Hugh’s, but this is even better. If he knows anything about this Stamets, it’s that the man loves Culber more than anything, even if he doesn’t show it – it’s sickening really – he’s going to be devastated.

Lorca can’t wait.

…

Hugh knows about the death messages. He’s not supposed to since he’s never been a CMO, but he was going to be transferred up to CMO at his previous ship if he hadn’t decided to transfer over for Paul so the CMO had been training him. And that involved telling him about the death messages.

He’s horrified that Starfleet has such knowledge but can see it’s usefulness. That’s why he informed the CMO of Discovery that he knew about the list in their first face to face meeting. She had nodded and told him not to tell anyone else and for then that had been it.

Hugh quickly became one of her go to doctors and soon the CMO approached him again and asked him if he would be willing to share the burden of the death message – they’ll take turns checking it so to have a day break from the heavy knowledge. He agreed.

Now as he looks down and sees his name he regrets agreeing. And now he has a choice to make. He can tell others, tell… well he can’t tell Paul now can he? Paul’s in an inexplicable coma and…

He’s not going to know that Hugh died. He’s going to wake up without knowing.

Hugh’s not scared of dying, he knew his time was going to come some day, whether he liked it or not, but he hates the thought of leaving Paul behind. Especially when he’s so vulnerable.

He decides not to tell anyone. It’s better this way.

Besides he has to take care of Paul and that will always be his priority.

…

Somehow the death message still comes even though they are in the Mirror Universe. Tilly, acting Captain, receives the message and doesn’t understand it. She shows it to Saru, who doesn’t know of its nature either. Lorca’s name is on it and a bunch of others. Some poking around reveals that a list like that gets sent every day, and it soon becomes clear that these are lists of people who are going to die.

Lorca is going to die.

Knowing that Lorca is from this Universe it’s relieving in a way, but still unsettling. How does Starfleet have this information? How does it work? Why do they send out the lists?

Tilly also realizes that this is the burden she must carry when she becomes a real captain. The thought does not sit well with her.

Paul happens to be walking by when they are discussing it and asks what they are talking about. They tell him and Tilly can see ripples of emotion pass through him before he shuts down.

He asks to see the lists and so Tilly hands the pad over.

He flips back a couple of days. He stops at the day Hugh died.

His name is at the top. Paul stares at it transfixed. Tilly can see his hands shaking ever so slightly.

“Paul…”

He jerks his head up and hands the pad back over, thanking them and walking away.

Tilly watches him leave, her heart reaching out for him, but knowing there’s nothing she can do.

…

And then it’s over. They receive medals and awards. Praise and congratulations.

But does it really mean anything? Perhaps.

It doesn’t fill the void in his heart.

But he cannot show it.

He cannot show it.

And so Discovery is put back into duty. To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. Yada yada yada.

He pretends he’s fine. He jokes with Michael and Tilly about not having to use the spore drive again, he goes about his research and business as if nothing was wrong.

He lives.

Or at least pretends to.

It’s two weeks into their voyage when their new captain receives their first death message. Saru has linked up the pad so that he also gets the message and he shows Michael, Tilly and Paul. It’s going against Starfleet regulations and perhaps it’s more harmful than good, but now that they know Starfleet has this power they need to know it too.

Besides, they want to see what the captain does.

Their captain does nothing. They suppose it’s a good thing.

It’s a group of Cadets. Usually not worthy of a death message, but one of them is the son of a high-ranking Admiral.

It’s an accident. Nothing could have been done.

Paul wonders if it really was better that they knew.

What would he have done if he had known Hugh was going to die? He doesn’t know. Even seeing his name on the list after the fact sends a paralysis through him. A disbelief. It seems so cruel – just a name on a list, determining your fate without any room to bargain. It’s hardly fair.

But then…

_“It’s never goodbye... Nothing in here is ever truly gone.”_

Sure Starfleet’s death message may have torn Hugh away from Paul without his say on the matter.

But there is nothing saying he can’t get him back.

And that’s exactly what Paul’s going to do.


End file.
